Titled: Private Me

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~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~Fuck You and Get Out

                                                                                   written 1995

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Shattered friendships

Kill the new born

Whisper secrets of the soul

Rape love

Murder life

Destroy life

O.D.'ed miracles

Suicide off bridges

Breakdown hopes

Tears of broken smiles

Rotten truths

Fools Gold

               lies

                    Death.

                                                                                    written 1993

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Titled: inside out

I am

I am

I am

an eagle in the sky

into the sky

into the trees

into your nest

I am

I am

I am free from the rays

of the burn' sun

in my dreams

in my dreams

the sky rips open

I am free

Gesso

reprime

turpentine in my veins

dissolved in pain

Gesso

reprime

clean these brushes in white spirits

and start again

this time in eco skeletal

and paint my insides out

I am

I am

I am free from the rays

of the burn' sun

in my dreams

in my dreams

the skin rips open

and my spirit flies

I am free

I am free

I am free                                                                                   written 1994

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I was born to die

I was born to die

born to die

It's all or nothing

It's all or nothing

              my blue buildings

              scream

              it's all shades of grey

              All this

              love

              washes me

              away

happily ever after

stay away

I shoot arrows

at the sun

I shatter hearts

I bleed

even in my dreams.

                                                                                            written 1994

__________________________________________________

Titled: LoosHer

I got blisters

on my feet

I peel some

skin off

wish I could rip it

all off

Bob Dylan

you made it big

now you wear a wig

wish I had

some fuel

for my car

I'd be a shootin' star

so many things uncertain

I'll draw the curtain

old and grey

there's no way

I'm a looser

wish i didn't bruise her

Looser

Loser her

Looser

Looser her.

                                                                                            written 1995

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Titled: BacholHer

I love you so much

I'll kill you first

Heart in a cage

Rib cage

like poetry in motion

She's like the ocean

If it's not

a heart attack

it's only a pulse

that keeps you alive

I need a bachelor party

so I can marry

I love you so much

I'll kill you first.

                                                                written 1995

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find me a dream

 that doesn't send me running

find me a dream

 that doesn't ask me questions

Find me a dream

 I want to dream

 I want to dream

Let the night fall

Let the warm night fall

Why the assault

it's not my fault

it's not my turn

to learn

let someone else burn

spaghetti long

semen strong

love is never wrong

I apologize

hear all my cries

    If it doesn't fit

    get rid of it.

                                                                                    written 1995

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Titled: Cheap thought

It might be

    because I'm young

    my life

    has only just begun

My cuts run deep

I'm trying not to reap

but my soul is cheap

Trying to find

    love in every girl

    inspiration in every word

Fuck it

 I can't express this thought

It's caught.

                                                                                    written 1994

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Titled: Dead Sea

I've seen Deserts 

   that were once oceans

I've seen full moons 

   eclipsed by the sun

I've seen mountains 

   of love crumble to the sea

I'm walking 

   on thin air

what does she care

I speak no words to be heard 

Swim in my

Swim in my dead sea

I'm drown' in

    her dead sea

I'm crawling 

    on my knees

in her dead sea.

                                                                                                        written in 1994

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Titled: Red Sky

When I die will I get

to see your face

When the night falls

will I be your sun

Father - will you be

waiting at the gate?

bag of bones

cold cold heart

ghosts diggin' into the skin

let me in

let me out

cancer spills across the red sky

let me sleep

let me dream

wake me up

when it's time to die.

written Feb 2nd - 4th 2004.

(Note: my father died of a sudden heart attack at age 56 - when I was 20 years old.

January 29th 2004 Janet (my aunt) had a very serious heart attack... it was described as 8 out of 10 by the doctors).

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I eat much

more than I shit

take a look into these

butterfly eyes

you have to decide what you

can live with and live

without

countless masses

endless sinners

a cage

a human warehouse

prisoners eat prepared food on

the wage deductions off my salary

written 2003

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Titled: Goodnight my love

I turn out the light

crawl between the white sheets

her love blankets me like a corpse

written 1994